so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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