I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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