One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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