If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
