I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
