you guys were way drunker than both of me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
