normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
