i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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