At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
