It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
