I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize