im gay
i know
yea but for you.
one might say we're banned from that church
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
