After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
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