I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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