Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
