It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize