An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
