Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize