Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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