My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
