I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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