how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
