$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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