the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
