My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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