question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
