He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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