Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
