Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
