You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize