It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
