I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
