he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize