I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
