ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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