I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
