Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There are leaves in my underwear?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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