Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
