So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
