My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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