I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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