I was born with a shot glass in my hand
now i know why i became what i already was.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
