was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
