My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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