Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
