I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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