i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
