I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
