I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
