Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
