Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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