Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
