so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
