I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
