Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
