Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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