My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
