That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
