i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
